19th June

It is a miracle either of these rolls of film were ok, they have been knocking around the bottom of a bag full of sand, shells and mud which is a true depiction of our lifestyle; beach and allotment.  This post is a collaboration between me and Fox, one camera is his and the other mine; 12 weeks we have wandered a round looking at the world through a rectangle.  He has gone back to school this week and work resumes at home for me, I am so proud of the little scamp, I love how he feels and sees the world, a sensitive fiery curious soul who is my sidekick.  I will treasure these images forever, teaching him to see and feel inspired and catch a moment that means something to him has been a total joy.  I showed him the images last night and as he saw an image he relived the memory with a mighty grin across his face, “memory catching” is what we called it….  This was meant to be an activity to do in lockdown however I think it might become a sweet little thing we do together from now on.  I am going to make him a book of these images an album from this extraordinary time that we have lived through, a time that I don’t think we will every really know the impact from until a little while off from now.  

7th June 2020

I had lost one of our disposable cameras that both Fox and I had shot way back in April.   I have been looking for this object in earnest for about a month now and had resigned myself to the fact that it had been swallowed up somewhere.  It is always at the moment you give up that it then appears, I found it buried underneath a rotting bag of carrots in the bottom of the fridge.  The camera was unscathed and the scans came in yesterday.  It feels like a lifetime has actually passed since we took this.  This roll dates back to early April of when we were living in that intense stage of lockdown where we only allowed out for an hour a day.  When I look at the images I recognise visual cues of corners, barriers, layers denoting the theme of confinement maybe… yet at the same sky, horizon, light, nature signifying hope, optimism and beauty.  These  pictures we took are very basic snapshots all taken within a stones throw of where we live.  They offer an insight into how we were feeling, nothing more than small rectangular insights into our subconscious; daily vignettes.    I can see throughout all the rolls we have shot to date over this lockdown period an ongoing quest to explore a sense of place, connection and at the same time freedom and escapism.  I am ever so grateful for all that we still have, the community we have around us, the beautiful place we live and the ability to create during this time.  

4th June 2020

My muse.  Laura and I dared to dream, dance, drink, smoke, twirl, cavort, laugh, cry and do the thing we love most in the world… create some pictures together.  When the world is spinning and we feel like we are on our knees stripped of safety the only thing to do is to feel it all; to go in and find some space. There is a beautiful small gap just before you exhale, trust me you will always have this as place to come home to and the freedom to decorate it, expand it and inhabit it in the most luscious way beyond your wildest dreams.  I am still shooting {distanced etc} so if you want a shoot with me just reach out .x 

1st May 2020

As another week rolls around so does another roll of film.  I am not interested in taking photographs of the lockdown parse, why?  Because I find it all too painful, because it is mostly full of loss and I don’t want to hang about in that space too long, it is not beautiful… {as in the literal sense I mean and then I think about it, not in any sense}.  Yes there are portraits behind glass and through screens but again it feels too uncomfortable.   I can see empty streets echoing Hopper, reflections and space where shadows at last can stretch out.  Discarded gloves and masks can be signifiers.  Images  would feel like I am the last one left at the end of a Michael Jackson fancy dress party.  Picture the scene “thriller’ is on repeat and everyone has left the party, the room is empty, the sun is rising and all that is left is the detritus, the odd glove and mask, and the echo….  I need to create as that is all I really know and so I am searching for what….?  I am continuing to notice, explore, listen, walk, I am seeing very small vignettes that make me feel joy and that life is still magical and more importantly beautiful… I dunno another week has passed;  another week of thinking and not really becoming clearer. Here are the images, maybe they speak more eloquently than myself. 

23rd April 2020

I have brought 6 x disposable cameras from Amazon; they were cheap as chips with no ability to focus, meter the light or capture any subtle nuance of life.  This is not about quality but enabling a process of carrying on my art; to encourage, to feel free , to create some creative in this space in time.  At the same time, I am treading the fine line of pressure and expectation in terms of outcome.  I am acutely aware of my high expectations especially when it comes to my work.  I am bypassing the outcome by using a cheap and quite frankly dreadful tool;  I am intentionally cruising blissfully into potentially the worse work I have ever shot… or maybe I am about to fly into a creative space of freedom. Here is the proof. Roll number 1 is back from the lab and thank god for my lab for still giving me and my work life. Within  this process I have got Fox my son involved, so when he finishes up his roll we can see how he is seeing the world.  Anyway, I am off for my daily walk with another crappy camera in my pocket.  

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